The Room That Remembered - My Essay

Hello survivor fam,

I have had a challenging few months and I am finally able to talk about it. My father passed away at the end of March. Luckily, I was able to see him two weeks before he passed, he asked for his children before entering the hospital and I jumped on a plane to Virginia. Death is a huge trigger and I have had three deaths in the past year that have been extremely difficult, from my best friend since high school dying last July to my sister passing a week before Christmas and now my father. So much loss. I have tried to think about the happy times from childhood, despite my abuse, I experienced many good memories growing up.

To help manage these emotions, I wrote an essay that was published on Braver Collective, a platform and community for survivors of sexual assault. My father's death has been very hard for me to process. It also forced me to once again deal with the complexity of surviving sibling sexual abuse when crisis requires family togetherness. Many memories were triggered, including my experience as a tween moving into my brother's room after he graduated from high school, which is where my abuse took place. I struggled in secret in my room because I was uncomfortable in there, but did not understand why. What resulted was a truly amazing story of my spiritual awaking that I am finally sharing with the world. It will also be discussed in my upcoming memoir (name still in process)! More to come on that later.

In the meantime, if you have ever felt alone in childhood, lost, confused, triggered and did not understand what was going on, this essay is for you. Read it here.

Keep thriving,

Nubia