• nubia duvall wilson

Motivation, May I Get To Know Your Better?

Updated: Nov 23, 2019


I was out with a fellow writer from my coworking space, Work and Play, in South Orange, and we were talking about our writing habits and projects. I offered him some of my pastry from the café because I tend to not over eat desserts and a little goes a long way for me. Since I am not a glutton for sugar, he asked if I drank coffee. I replied, “No. I prefer herbal tea.” He asked if I smoked cigarettes. I replied, “No. I have smoked maybe one cigarette in the past year and that was because I was very stressed.” He replied, “So what is your vice?” Ha! “I love wine,” I said with a big smile. I had redeemed myself as I was probably starting to seem like Miss Priss in his eyes.


I am sure many people think that about me--I am hard working, I have a lot of hobbies and projects, I raise two head strong little kids, I run a boutique PR/marketing agency, and I love to travel. How do I get it all done without coffee you might ask? Self-motivation. The night after the Emmy’s were on TV, I looked at my husband despondently and said, “We missed the Emmy’s last night!” He responded, “So what?” and I replied, “Remember? I want to win an Emmy one day! Keep up!” He just rolled his eyes jokingly and noted that he can’t remember all of my goals.


Here are some examples of things I do to stay motivated, as well as how I let myself just BE:


Tracking goals: I write down my business and personal goals about once a quarter in a journal and then go back and review them to evaluate if I am making progress or not. I thrive when things are chaotic, but I also need to maintain order with respect to my vision and the steps it will take to realize my goals.


Clients that fit my work ethic: I seek clients and agency work that I know will meet my needs from an emotional and mental standpoint--not just financial. I want to help people who appreciate my work ethic. I put my all in what I do for my 9-to-5 (as do my team members), so I strive to attract and secure clients who can give that energy back through appreciation, positive reinforcement and a balanced work relationship. Supporting my clients feeds my soul.


Motherhood doesn’t stop, but it’s okay to say you’re tired: When I am done with work, my children and husband take even more energy from me, but I remind myself that what I get back is unconditional love, so even if I tell my kids I am too tired to play a game, they won’t hate me forever. I recently posted a Facebook video of myself on the couch after work while my daughter was eating popcorn next to me (aka her dinner for the night) and I openly spoke about not having the energy to make them dinner or do anything for them that night. By the time the kids are in bed, I am pooped. I don’t feel guilty about lazily watching Nailed It on Netflix or America’s Got Talent. I ALWAYS have items on my to-do list either for work or my writing projects, but some nights you need to let your brain rest.


Traveling alone: At least once a year, I tell the kids and hubby, "Peace out!" I go to D.C. to visit my best friends from high school, go to Los Angeles to visit some besties or I end up traveling for business and spend a good 4-to-5 days away. I don’t feel guilty about it and I use that alone time to re-focus on myself, have fun, relax and to allow my husband to remember how much I actually do around the house, so that he appreciates me more when I return!

The Survivors Club

Every survivor’s journey should be met with empathy and respect. I’ve curated these resources with you in mind.

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